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Sunday, September 23, 2012

Excuses, Life Change, & Sucky Times

I've had some thoughts brewing in my head and I'm not sure how to even get them out or if this will make any sense but here goes.

So, this past month and a half has been a bit of a transition for our family with me going back to work full time.  I don't want to make any stay at home moms mad but being a stay at home mom was cake FOR ME in comparison to working full time and still being a mom and having all of the mommy responsibilities (kids' schedules, my schedule, hubs' schedule, laundry, etc).  I am so blessed I got to stay home for the 7 1/2 years that I did.  I treasured those days but my hat is off to you moms who work and Mom at the same time.   I do have to give props to my husband who has been killer at helping around the house and adding a lot more "home" responsibility to his plate too.

With that said, one of the things I grieved (maybe over dramatic) about going back to work was my time with my friends and keeping up with them during the week. I so miss that now.  I really worried about staying connected.  My friend, Shelley, told me a few months ago, "You and the other friends will have to be very intentional about that.  You can't be responsible for both sides."  I really appreciated that and I'm learning that it's very true.  At the same time, I do miss being on facebook and meeting up for lunch.  I really enjoyed those things. I've dropped the ball a bit with connecting with some friends and others I've tried to connect and felt like I've hit a brick wall.  It's such a tight rope walk for me some times.  I'm trying to give myself a break and listen to Shelley's words and let others respond or not and not take it personally either way.  Life changes and things change and that's okay, it really is.  I'm trying not to be too hard on others and give grace, that's hard for me at times.

This past year has been filled with challenges and in some respects we survived some really hard times.  I've been thinking alot about Galations 6:2, Help carry each other's burdens. In this way you will follow Christ's teachings.  I've definitely felt like I've had friends who have helped do this for us and they did it so well.  They came along side when we needed them most and loved us and carried our burdens with us.  I'm so thankful for that.  I also felt like we had some opportunities to do that with others and it's such a sweet bond that is formed when you do that (on either side).  I'm realizing that if I stay in my little safe bubble where no one knows what is really going on with me and I act like everything is fine, I miss out on so many authentic life experiences and relationships.  If I stay comfortable and safe and with my "church" friends, I miss out on what God has called me to.  Busy-ness is no excuse....we were never promised easy or clean or drama free living.  And I'm thankful. I pray that God would continue to call me out into relational living and out of my bubble. 

This last month or so has been hard in regards to scheduling and being tired but it hit me today that I have to be intentional about my relationships and staying connected, I have to carry the burdens of others when life sucks, and I don't want to make excuses as to why I can't do and be who God has called me to be and the things He has called me to do. 

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