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Monday, February 25, 2008

Out of the Mouths of Babes

The weirdest thing happened tonight at dinner. We've always prayed with Addy before meals and at night night. When we ask her if she wants to pray, she's usually reluctant but here lately she's doing it more. She'll usually say, "Dear God, help our food. Amen." Tonight, she said, "Dear God, bless those who hate us." I made her repeat it like 4 times because I couldn't believe that she actually said that. It was so crazy. I asked Levi if he had told her that. How does a 3 year old come up with that? I would like to think that no one hates us but was reminded by my daughter to pray that God would bless those people. I'm learning how powerful the tongue is. I want to have a powerful tongue but for the positive. Just as easy as it is for me to be negative, critical, and destructive with my words, I want it to be that easy for me to positive, uplifting, and encouraging. What a hard lesson to learn how much words hurt.

On a totally different note, we found out that we're doing our ground breaking ceremony next Sunday for our building. WOOHOO!!! One of the ladies said, "Boy that happened fast." To which we all laughed. We were supposed to break ground back in September and be in our building in January. We just hadn't heard anything in a while and then all of a sudden we're breaking ground. I guess that's just church planting timing right?? It's so crazy and frustrating all at the same time. We're going weekly starting Easter and I'm so excited. I'm just ready to feel like we really are doing this. On a separate note, I'm frustrated about having to do the kid's stuff or feeling like I have to do it. I read Jennifer's blog about doing things you don't want to do. Man is she telling the truth. I have definitely done a lot I did not want to do but I'm also ready for other people to step up and take over. I hope that makes sense. We're praying for more like minded people to join our team and help us.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Weekend Away

I was away from home Friday night and Saturday at a women's retreat in Dallas. It was really good for me. There were around 300 women, maybe more...not sure. There was a comedian, Martha Marie (Rita Morrow), Starla Harbin was the worship leader, and Gloria Gaither was the speaker. It was just really good. Some of the things were really different for me because they were really churchy, that just sounds so weird for me to say, just being out of that for a bit it struck me different. I really liked it all the same. Gloria was such a great communicator. I kind of felt like she was talking to me as if we were just sitting having coffee. Her delivery was eloquent and straightforward. A lot of what she said struck such a chord in my spirit. I loved hearing her stories about Bill, her kids & grandkids, and friends. She talked about our plan and God's will for our life and how "our plan" is rarely God's plan. His plan for us is to pick up our socks. Her mom told her growing up that God's will for you this second is to pick up your socks. Meaning, get through the day to day things that God wants you to do, don't want for the "big will" that you think He's got for you. She said she got through life picking up her socks, living one thing to the next. She said that the interruptions of life are where God works. Wow, living in Dallas, TX knowing so few people was definitely an interruption for me. I think I get sidetracked worrying about our house in NC or this church we're planting or whatever instead of the important things. I was convicted about how sometimes I view the kids are interruptions. Whatever I'm doing when they interrupt is so far less important than them. She talked about saving the relationship at any cost, not worrying about the dirty house or the to do list, don't miss the moment. She also talked about being content no matter what state we're in and being a prisoner of hope. Again, it was like she was talking to me. I want God to use what little amount I have where I am and knowing, hoping, and believing that God will bless us because He sent us here. I know that for sure! It was a good weekend! I missed the kids and Levi but it was really nice to just have a night away. Although Keegan who NEVER sleeps late, slept till 10 am this morning. He's had an ear infection so I think he just needed to rest but still, he does it on Levi's watch, can you believe it?!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Peaceful Groove

Hello. I hope you're having a good week. It's been weird for me, way weird actually. I know I told you yesterday that I'm trying to get up early before the kiddos and do my devotions and journal. I didn't do it today, I know. Keegan was up at 4:30 this morning and would not go back to sleep. I kind of enjoyed it because he's so cuddly and I love that time with him but I was so tired. Every time I tried to put him back in his crib, he screamed so the last time, I just rocked and rocked him. I love being a Mom, I think that's got to be my favorite part, just cuddling. I am so keenly aware, (aware as I can be I guess) of how time flies and I don't want to miss a second of this. I love the diapers and the baby food and the not walking (although Keegy is oh so mobile). I love Addy not being able to say her r's and when she sings "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" she says, "and a happy new ears." And she thinks we're really wishing people new ears. I love it! They are my joy and I couldn't imagine my life without them. Okay, total tangent there, back on track. So, needless to say. When Keegan woke up at 4:30 and I put him back in bed, I went back in Addy's room to check on her. It's a compulsive habit, I check on both of my kids whenever I get up and always before I go to bed and the first thing I check when I wake up. So anyway, she's not in her room. I go back to my room. She's been teasing me (or so I thought) and telling me at night that she's going to sleep in my bed. I guess she wasn't teasing. Levi slept on the couch because he wanted to be propped up because we're all struggling with sinus stuff..YUCK. So, I lay down and she wants juice, just a little bit she says. Keegan is still crying so I get up and don't get back in bed till almost 6. This story is getting longer, sorry. We had our playgroup coming over for lunch so it was just a crazy morning. It just reminded me of the scripture that says, "Why do we do the things we don't want to and don't do the things we should?" That's a Heather paraphrase. I have the best intentions but it's so hard to follow through sometimes. It's been a long day. It was good though. I really like our playgroup and I am so thankful for those moms and kids. We had band practice tonight and it went really well. I love to sing and I feel like for me, that's such an outlet. I'm really liking the music we're doing this month. It's refreshing and one song has got a slow grooving kind of feel. Our worship pastor wrote it and I really like it. I'm really proud of Jonathan. Anyway, as we were singing this one song, I was hitting a note that wasn't wrong but it was kind of a minor feel, kind of like in a rock song. It sounded like it needed to resolve but with the music it didn't resolve. Jonathan was helping me find another note that wasn't "rocking" or minor and blended more to the feel of the song. I had such a hard time getting it. It was so frustrating because I really have a hard time changing what I'm singing once I hear something that I think should work. I just kind of thought in my life, it's the same way. If I think I'm right or even just get in a habit or pattern, it is so hard for me to change that. I want so bad to "resolve" it like that note, but just can't. Until God comes and helps me to see the light or hear the right notes and then it's still hard but it's doable knowing He's there helping, not in a condemning way but in a graceful, teaching way. Jonathan's good at that (I know I'm tooting his horn in my blog). He never makes any of us feel stupid if we hit a weird note or don't get it. He's really good to be patient in correction. It just kind of hit me that that's how God works. He wants us to get it so badly and He's so patient with us. I'm so glad because sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in that "minor" rock note and just want a slow, peaceful groove.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Rainy Days & Mondays Always Get Me Down

So today is Monday and it was an okay day. I set my alarm so I could get up and read my Bible and write in my journal which I did. I prayed last night (I got home at midnight, my friend Xuan and I went and saw, "Over Her Dead Body" Don't waste your time, I did not like it.) and asked God to sustain me if I got up and read my Bible. Is that silly? Not for me... I love to sleep, it is a precious commodity when you have 2 small children. I kind of hoped that by reading my Bible this morning to start my day, I would have this great attitude today and life would just be bright and sunny all day. It wasn't. I definitely was glad I got up and read, it felt good. My attitude though was not good. I was skeptical today about some different things that I should not be skeptical about. It was weird. We're all kind of feeling cruddy. I know that makes it worse. I prayed that God would take my skepticism away and give me an undying joy. By the way, He did sustain me today. I napped with Addy today while Keegan was sleeping, that was a nice treat!! Our playgroup is coming over tomorrow. We're collecting items for Sharing Life and I'm glad the group jumped on board. I always have fun with them. I am very thankful that God opened that door for me. I'm not even going to reread this post or edit. They were random thoughts, but that's where I am right now.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Dog Issues

Okay so this week is turning out to be really busy. We had a birthday party Monday, that got cancelled and rescheduled due to illness. Tuesday and Wednesday we have Valentine's parties. Thursday was our preschool, which is rescheduled and Friday is nothing. So, busy week right. Next week is kind of crazy too. Anyway, we were gearing up to go to a Valentine's party this morning. Everybody was ready to walk out, we all had our red on, were bundled up and ready to go. And I thought, "I better let Becker out." Well, it rained, poured last night and it's muddy. So, I let Becker out the back door and get Keegan's bottle ready. I go out about 5 minutes later, enough time for him to have done his business. He's NOWHERE!!! I call him and of course hear all the neighborhood dogs barking. He comes to me through the fence but scootches out of his collar. UGH, he slings his dog slobber all over my arm, that was ready to go by the way. So, I've got his collar in hand and march out the front door around the side of the house, through the mud. He comes to me pretty quickly. (Don't ask me why I just didn't go through the garage....duh?) I start to walk with him in the house and he plants his feet. I mean plants them, he's not budging. I'm pulling a 90 lb Giant Schnauzer around the side of my house through the mud. I was so mad. I wonder if God ever feels that way about us. He wants us so badly to come inside and stay dry, warm, protected and we plant our feet and don't budge. I guess the difference is that we have free will to choose to come in on our own, he's not going to struggle, beat and pull us in the house. However, He will keep pursuing us, I do believe that and working on our hearts. And then from our side, how much easier would it have been on Becker to walk through the garage instead of going the long way in the cold through the mud. Poor Becker, I was rough on him. Needless to say, he did stay in the house and went out for very brief potty breaks.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Just Stuff

Levi and I have had a great weekend. Last night, we heard Jonathan play at the Curtain Club. He did a great job, it was very different but good. I was proud of him. Today we took it easy and just enjoyed being together as a family. Tonight, we had a game night at a friend's house. It was so much fun. We met some new couples and it was nice just to be there. Tomorrow is our preview. I'm so ready to get into a groove and do church every week. I know those of you that go to church every week would LOVE to have a break. The break is nice but it's so hard to gain momentum. I'm doing the kids stuff and I'm having a hard time being motivated. It's just so weird. I'm also doing a lot of thinking about Lent. I read the foreword in Levi & Jonathan's devotional guide and it just struck a nerve in a good way. Thanks Scott for getting me thinking. I was thinking today of hearing people complain because they gave up chocolate or they gave up coke. As if those things are "sacrifices." I know that sounds kind of harsh or something but in thinking of Christ's sacrifice, His life and then I'm giving up chocolate, and complaining about how hard it is. Maybe my problem is the fact that people complain about what they give up....I think that's it. Christ never complained and how much larger was His sacrifice. I don't know. I just really struggled with that today. It also hit me that so much of what I hear people giving up is food related that it makes me think of the world as a whole and how many in other countries don't have a fraction of what we have. It just kind of made me feel guilty for being so arrogant to think that giving up a pleasure like chocolate or coke is a significant sacrifice. PS....sorry if you're giving up coke or chocolate:)

Sunday, February 3, 2008


I'm reminded on this Sunday morning of God's grace and love. I'm thankful for his forgiveness. I'm also thinking on His goodness and faithfulness. I've got to believe that God still hears the cries of His people and He will not depart from them.