follow me on Twitter

Friday, February 19, 2010

Character Flaw #2

so a bit ago I blogged about a character I will blog about another quick one.

I realized while doing laundry this morning that I am pretty anal.  You know on the laundry detergent bottle how it says 32 load or 48 loads, etc?  Okay so I think that's just a suggestion but anal (and probably cheap has something to do with it) me put a pen by the bottle and every time I did a load of laundry, I made a tally mark.  I guess I wanted to make sure I got my money's worth.  I got frustrated when Levi would do a load of laundry b/c he didn't "mark" it.  Needless to say, I don't know if I got the total number of loads out of that bottle or not.

Can we say ANAL?!! Yes, we can and sadly enough, I'm okay with it most days;)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


is here....did you think i'd post about it?  I have not always observed the season of Lent but for the past few years, I have.  We've had Ash Wednesday services and given up something to reflect on the sacrifice that God gave for us.  Well, this year was a little different for me.  I didn't want to give up chocolate or coke. I blogged about a year ago my disdane for those types of fasts b/c they're so insignificant in relation to Christ's sacrifice for us. I realize it's a symbol and when you miss it, you have a teeny tiny taste of sacrifice. I get it.

Anyway, we had an Ash Wednesday service tonight. It was powerful for me. I missed the first little bit b/c I was in the lobby.  When I came in, we sang some.  Levi got up to direct us about the ashes.  He had burnt ashes today and the cool part about the ashes was that he used our "corporate confessions" from a few weeks ago.  I blogged about it.  He gave us time during one of the services a few weeks ago to corporate confess our struggles that we're dealing with currently or that we've dealt with. People were brutally honest and it was so refreshing to hear people share from their hearts.  Anyway, Levi kept those and burnt them for our ashes. I love that.  I sat in the back row and the back row went first.  I got to sit back and watch the other 70-something people get their ashes.  BTW, not on our foreheads, we had a string with a card that had double sided tape on it.  You dipped your card in the ashes, shook the excess off and kept it.  I hung mine on my rear view mirror so I'd think about it everyday.  As I watched each person take their ashes, tears began to flow.  I thought about each family or person. I thought about their struggles.  I thought about their history. I thought about were they were 3,6, 12 months ago. I thought about their wins.  I just reflected on each of them. I loved that we were all there together in that moment participating as the body of Christ, confessing our imperfections and being willing to sacrifice something during the next 40 days. 

I love our church (church as in people, not building). I love that I sat at the longest table I've seen in a long time filled with wonderful friends.  I love that I am blessed to be married to a man who is flexible, open, daring, and bold when it comes to making followers of Christ.  He leads Catalyst with passion and drive.  I love that people love me for me-even as a pastor's wife.  I had a friend tell me tonight I'm different than any pastor's wife she's ever known.  I told her thanks.  She said, "that was a compliment, because I didn't usually hang out with my pastor's wife."  I love that I can be me, flawless, goofy, too many inappropriate jokes to count, emotional at times, just me.  I love that!!  I love that people can be themselves.  They're not afraid to share their struggles or hang ups.  They're them and proud of it.  I love that b/c it's allowed me to be me and proud of it.

I find myself these days getting pretty fed up with organized religion, doctrine, rules, laws, etc....which is a tad bit funny seeing as that's my husband's livelihood.  He is different (on so many different levels-ha). I get caught up in worry about the future and the control freak in me spazz-es out.   I see and understand why people leave the church. I get why they call Christians hypocrites.  I totally get it.  Some of the meanest people are found in churches.   They are petty, judgmental, critical, dogmatic, know-it-alls.
I have also encountered some of the most giving, compassionate, FUN, loving people in the church as well.  I cannot be judgmental or critical and that's the trap for me.  I focus on the wrong instead of forgiving, moving on, letting go, trusting.  I hear stories of hurts all the time but the ones that get me the most are the church hurts.  It's so hard to forget.  For me, it brings up bad memories.  At that moment, I have a choice, I have to choose to forgive. I have to choose to see people the way God sees them. I have to love in spite of myself and my own issues.  That is hard but key.
 So, as we enter the Lenten Season, my focus is on love, forgiveness, compassion-growing closer to Christ.  I will fast somethings but I will also take on a positive "thing" and by doing both, I hope to make this time of Lent a meaningful, powerful season in my life.

Filled with lots of joy,

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

K Man's Song

I got a nice surprise this morning.  Jonathan (or JJ as he's affectionately known to our kids) wrote a song for Keegan's baby dedication.  I wanted him to send me the lyrics or record it for me.  Life got busy, we all forgot.  Anyway, last week he told me that he remembered and he would try to work on it.  Well, this morning, I got the song in my inbox.  It was just as sweet and moving at almost 3 years of age as it was at 3 months.  Enjoy!! I posted it on my FB and my twitter.  Check it out.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Week in Check

Okay so here's a run down on my week, it's been a crazy one! 
Monday- am-Keegan to doctor, then pharmacy, home for naps, me out to tutor, practice for ladies retreat
Tuesday- am- no school, me to doctor (walk in clinic that took FOREVER), pharmacy, grocery store, home for naps, Andrew & Marilyn for dinner, band practice
Wednesday-am- doctor for Addy (5 yr check up), Chiloso (much needed-ha!), home, C Group

It's been a week.  I love being busy but this week was a little much, ONLY because I was alone.  It was still good quite honestly.  Tonight, we had the Wilsons over for dinner. First and foremost, they are a lot of fun. I love to be able to be me, silly and all and just enjoy hanging out with people!  I love hearing people's stories, asking 20 questions, and telling my story too.  It was fun! 

I know I say it a lot and it's because I am so grateful, I love our Catalyst peeps!!!  I am so blessed to be apart of this group of people.  It is unique and refreshing and I get pretty emotional even thinking about it. 

I love my C Group too...we had 20 at our house last night (including kids).  It is always fun to catch up and live life together.  I'm finding the more questions we ask, the less I know.   I don't understand so much about why things happen but I'm learning people don't always want answers or explanations, just someone to listen and be genuine with them. 

Tomorrow night we're having a baby shower and I'm excited!!  I love babies & gabbing with women!! Fun times!

so so so glad

my hubby is back!!!  I'm complete again!!