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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I love my C Group

Okay so I'm going to be honest here, a few weeks ago, I had the wind knocked out of my sails and being the re-run's kind of bugged me ever since....lesser degrees everyday which is a good thing.  I tend to harbor and then get angry and then feel sorry ; wash and repeat.  I'm also a blamer kind of person. If there is someone to blame then it makes sense to me but if there is injustice involved, wash & repeat...definitely a character flaw of mine.  I also realize that when I experience hurt I put my arms up to keep myself guarded, not only from the perpetrator but to everyone.  I kind of go into a little shell until I talk myself out;)  That sounds a lot more dramatic than it is....if you know me, I'm an open book and even at arm's length, you're pretty close:)  Anyway, tonight was c group.  The dvd we watched was called "Corner."  It talked about how we all have something that is our overflow that is someone else's necessity.  We talked about grace and how grace isn't fair, liberation isn't fair, God isn't fair.  We do questions at the end.  Rewind, we were 3 or 4 couples short tonight and I was kind of bummed BUT OH MY LANDS...I could have stayed in my living room with those other 10 people for hours.  It was a great conversation.  We had people open up about past hurts and how God has extended grace in those situations even through the unfairness of it.  I was able to share and be honest about my patterns of behavior and how I was feeling.  I love that I can be me.  That I can say I struggle with being critical and equity and injustice and that I act like a jerk at times and don't feel judged.  I love that.

Even after the "official" time was over, we sat there and continued to talk in mini groups...I mean really talk and share. It wasn't shallow or superficial, it was relational struggles and parenting hurts, I almost got teary eyed just watching it happen.  One of the guys that shared tonight made the statement while looking around our living room, "God gave me this family."  We are family, we are the body of Christ and it is so cool when it all works together to support and listen and love.

 Sometimes it's weird balancing being the pastor's wife with my friends but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else doing anything else....that's big for me!!

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