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Sunday, August 10, 2008

Acts 3

I read Acts Chapter 3 today. A couple of verses stuck out, first verse 3. "When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money." This chapter is about the beggar that asked for money as people entered the temple. Peter looked at him and told him basically he didn't have money but he has something greater, and he healed the man in Jesus' name. A thought hit me as I was reading that, the guy wasn't asking for the right thing. Maybe he thought he needed money but what he really needed was a miracle in his life and that only Jesus can give. I thought in my own life how many times I've asked for something superficial thinking it would fill a void or complete me when what I really needed was a close encounter with God and a refocusing.

The other verse that hit me was verse 17. "Now, brothers, I know that you acted in ignorance as did your leaders." Peter said this to the people in the temple after they healed this guy. He was talking about how the people had treated Jesus and how they were acting out of ignorance not realizing who Jesus really was. Sometimes I think that about Christian people or I guess people in general (and myself too for that matter). We act in a way that isn't becoming of a believer because we're living in ignorance or we haven't let God's light shine into all part of our life and illuminate it and change it.

Sometimes it's hard for me to think of myself as a pastor's wife. I don't like that title because of the connotation it holds for me because of past history. I don't want to have to fit into a box. I want to be me, fiesty, spunky, goofy me. I don't want to have to tiptoe around people or feel like I can't say what I feel. I don't want to lose myself. Levi has NEVER made me feel any of those things and if you know him, he's not your typical pastor. We have some friends and they actually got out of the ministry because of this same kind of stuff, it was the wife's history and expectation of what she put on herself and who she thought she had to be. I just heard of another couple who were planting a church who left the plant because the wife went into a major depression because she was such a people pleaser she couldn't handle it. I can see how that could happen and it hurts my heart.

God, thank you for today, a good Sunday. Help me to ask for the help I need and at the same time recognize my need and dependence on You. Forgive me for my ignorance in dealing with others and myself. Help me never be ashamed of who You have made me to be.

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