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Sunday, September 7, 2008

Mowing

Yesterday I mowed the yard. I was doing it as an act of love for Levi. He’s been reffing trying to earn some extra money. I didn’t want him to have to come home after reffing in the hot Texas sun for 6 hours to mowing the yard and the neighbor’s yard. Another story in itself…anyway. As I was mowing, I kept thinking the mower wasn’t cutting the grass short enough. At one point, I reached down with one hand to move a lever which didn’t move so I just kept mowing knowing something wasn’t quite right. I mean, it was cutting the tall pieces of grass but it didn’t feel like it was short enough. When Levi got home, he was very appreciative that the grass was mowed. I told him that I thought something wasn’t right. He had mowed our neighbor’s backyard a week ago and her grass was really high. He put the blades up and didn’t lower them. It made perfect sense.
I can see a spiritual correlation here for myself. I work hard, I try to do the right things but come up feeling like something's not exactly right. I try to tweak something but it's still not right. I don't want to live that way. I want to live fully engaged with all blades going. Sometimes I feel that way and I've realized it's a phase and kind of cyclical. I feel that way when I'm tired and need to refresh and renew. I've also realized that I'm pretty independent and strong willed. That carries over for me too. I want to do it in my own strength and that is so not what this spiritual journey is about. I've struggled this last week with reading my Bible. I can really tell a difference in my actions, reactions, and compassion for others when I don't stay connected, not just in reading but also in praying too. I'm going to make an effort this week to be more consistent. We've got a lot going on this week and I'm already tired....I know the week hasn't started.

2 comments:

Levi said...

You have no idea how much this sunfried husband appreciated pulling up to a mowed lawn. It was a huge relief at the end of two long days of reffing.

Lisa said...

I love your heart, Heather!