Today & Our House

So today I've really been praying about our house situation in NC. I would invite you to pray with me. When we moved here, 7 months ago, we considered it taking a while for our houses (us and our worship pastor's) to sell but we didn't think it would take this long. It's been kind of disheartening. We knew we were to move here to plant this church, we all felt that in our spirits and knew that God was leading us. I never want to doubt that. Humanly though, it is so difficult to have 2 mortgages every month. I really don't know how long we can continue. So, today, I've really felt impressed to make it a matter of prayer and to focus my prayer and energy on praying that God would do a miracle in this crazy housing market and sell both of these houses. I've done some soul searching, confessing, and just thinking on God. I want to be His servant and I want Him to check me. There are definitely areas in my life that He has brought to my attention. I have to surrender control on a daily basis to Him. I find that I try to pick it up and worry and then there goes my joy. I get focused on the wrong things, things that are petty and really make no difference. There are things with Levi that irritate me and I focus on those instead of all of the wonderful things about him. I hate that about myself. I want my kids to remember me as a Christ centered person who was full of joy and love, not worried about everything being perfect and right. I want to be positive and I struggle with negativity. I struggle with wanting justice. I listened to a sermon this morning that talked about when we're weak, God can be strong. His Kingdom is built on weakness and the opposite of what society considers strong and mighty. It's okay for people to lie about us, it's okay for people to spread gossip and half truths, it's okay! God will bring the truth to Light. God will be our justice. God wins in the end. We know that. Why is it so difficult to digest for me? Why do I want so badly to set people straight? This is what I'm talking about when I say daily that I have to lay down control and just say, "Okay God, You know me, You made me. I want You to control my actions and reactions today. Control my thoughts, control what comes out of my mouth. Help me to live like your daughter today. Help me to love like you love and care for the things you care for." So, as I'm trying to pray that God will do a miracle with our real estate, I'm thankful that He is bringing my attention to things that I need to change in my life. I'm also praying that God would continue to do a miracle in my life and make me more like Him daily.