Twitter

follow me on Twitter

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Balance

So we had a good morning at Catalyst. We were down with it being Memorial Day weekend and I was in the back with the big kids. I didn't get to hear Levi preach which I totally miss (I know you'd think I'd get enough preaching during the week...ha ha ha!!). The music was great. We had two electrics and I really enjoyed that...it was a neat feel up there.

Okay so on to the meat of this post....I want to preface this vague story by saying, this had not one thing to do with any one at Catalyst... AT ALL!!! I don't want anybody to think I'm badmouthing my friends at CatRow on my blog:) Anyway, I kind of had a bad preacher's wife moment today. It didn't even have anything to do with anybody that's a part of Catalyst and it actually had more to do with my attitude then my behavior. It's hard when you're trying to be nice to someone and generous and the attitude that is returned is "I deserve it" and even worse, "I deserve more than what you're generously giving." I feel horrible even typing that but that was the attitude that I encountered today and it rubbed me the TOTAL wrong way. I'm glad Levi's the pastor and not me because my fiesty-ness gets the best of me. Levi can remain calm and give the benefit of the doubt. I'm trying to learn to walk away with my mouth SHUT!! I do want to extend grace to people even when the attitude isn't what it should be. And I say that but my attitude wasn't what it should have been either. I have to check myself too. I also know that when situations like that happen, I am a harbor-er. I have a hard time letting it go and I want to re-hash it (A LOT!!). That's where I get stuck and instead of moving on and letting go, I stay in the yuck of the moment. My focus is on the wrong thing. I want to be a grace extender instead of a harborer. I guess I can learn a lesson from the situation today. Just needed to share;)

1 comment:

Ash said...

Oh girl - we've all been there. It is so hard to be generous when people expect it and especially when they are ungrateful at what you're giving them. You would think in the ministry it would be different, but I think it's worse because so much more is expected of you. Just remember, "For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more." Luke 12:48 Just do your best to be a servant of God, but remember you're human and living in 2009 where most of society has their hand out. Love you girl & don't worry - we can all see the Love of God through you!