Marla

So yesterday Levi asked me to check all the AC's at the church to make sure they were turned down.  I had to be there early to practice.  As I was walking through the building, I noticed a lady walking by on the sidewalk and didn't think much about it.  I came back to the lobby and was putting stuff away before practice started and she came in the front door. If I'm being totally honest, my thoughts were, "What does she want?", "I have no cash," etc. They weren't positive thoughts.  She asked, "Can I come in and pray?"  It stopped me in my tracks.  The music at our church is loud, especially without bodies to absorb some of that noise.  I told her she was more than welcome to come in and that we were about to start music rehearsal which might get loud but she was more than welcome.  Side note, as I was walking in to church yesterday, I prayed that God would help me to be more consistent, committed, and to be in the Word like I know I should.  I'm struggling right now if I'm being completely honest.  So, as she started to walk in the worship area, I stopped her and asked if I could pray with her when she was done. It kind of came out before I thought about it.  She asked if I could just pray with her now that she really needed it.  She said that as she walked by the outside of our church, she felt impressed to come in and pray.  She said that she just moved her from Chicago 10 months ago and that she was being relocated again to the Gulf Coast. I know what relocation feels like. So, we sat down in the back row and I prayed for her. I prayed everything that I felt when we moved here and I prayed that God would be so close to her that even when life didn't feel "good" and when the chaos was so strong around her that she would feel His presence cradle her.  I'm not a super emotional person but tears fell from both of us.  She hugged me and didn't let go.  Man, my heart broke for her.  After we prayed, she thanked me and left.  I had a hard time gaining my composure for a few minutes.  I love when God brings people right to us.  I'm thankful that I was nice and didn't blow her off.  I would have missed seeing God work that morning.

So for me, there was no better way to start a Sunday morning. Marla was a great reminder as we prepared to worship a God that loves me for me without me having to have it all right or feel good enough.  I feel so unequipped to help people.  The crazy part for me was that with my negative thoughts flowing before Marla spoke, God still let me have the privilege to pray with her and for her...in spite of me and my stereotypes and judgment.  How cool is that!! 

When Levi got up to teach yesterday, he taught on Unstoppable Obedience.  He talked about how God used and uses the B teamers, the JV team, the rejects, the uneducated, the ill equipped, the unworthy...DING DING DING, that's me!!!  He uses us without us having all of our crap cleaned out. He helps us to clean the crap up and then He uses us more.  I love that!!  My prayer for myself (not being selfish) is that I would continue to let God prune me and work on me so that my stereotypes, preconceived ideas, and judgments will fade. I don't want to miss loving on people because of my on small mindedness.  I want to love people and accept people like God would without negativity.  And I think, so what if she would have walked in and asked for $20 or for me to pay for her electric bill?  I would want to do what I can to help her.  I want to be a servant and humble and gracious and merciful.  And like Levi said yesterday to be a person who loves mercy costs me.  But hello...it is worth the cost every time.

And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

That's the kind of person I want to be!