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Sunday, January 31, 2010

Overwhelmed & Undeserving

So Levi's been out of town for 1/2 a week now...1/2 week to go and schedules will be back to normal which is so abnormal it's not even funny.  I've enjoyed my time, I freezer cooked (proper grammar-doesn't sound like it).  Planning on getting some other stuff done that I want to do.  That part's nice.  However, I do miss him and will be glad for him to be back!!  I hurried out this morning so I wouldn't be late to church...I would have been on time except the line at the doughnut shop was forever long.  Good excuse right?? That's our Sunday morning routine...well Daddy's routine and I couldn't let them down.

I hurried to get in & get ready.  I hate when I forget to pray on Sunday mornings.  It's like I leave that part out of the equation but want everything to go marvelously.  Anyway....practice was fine, hanging out like normal.  We sang (the music was really good today, everything just flowed which is nice b/c it's not always that way).  I sat down like normal & Blain started.  I loved what he was saying and I think he was right on.  It's funny b/c in my journal I wrote a couple of times last week about feeling entitled to certain things and how I hate that about me.  I wasn't speaking in terms of religiosity but in other areas of my life. The Jews felt entitled to Jesus' miracles & power and they threatened to kill him because he was sharing that with the Gentiles.  I don't want to be that way.  Blain showed an incredible clip because he also talked about Jesus' message as heard by the Gentiles. He talked about how the Gentiles felt like the kid who is that last to get picked when he finally was chosen first.  I cried a lot of the way through the service today.  I loved the message and the words & the truth he spoke. 

...BUT...I also loved that Blain preached, that he had the ability and the willingness to do that, he's quality.  I love that he loves my husband & vice versa and gave him a break this morning.  That's the kind of people that Catalyst peeps are.  I love that!! I love Sprang (no this isn't online confessional time) a brotherly way of course!!!  I love his spirit & don't tell him that enough.  I love that he & Levi work on purposefully planning.  I love that I can just be me and as goofy & silly & as imperfect that I am, they love me or at least act like they like me.  I love our band & our blessed to be able to sing with them.   I love that I looked out this morning to see a chunk of our C Group sitting together in church.  I love that as I hear stories & meet people my heart is so overwhelmed with joy that it brings me to tears.  I love most of all that our God orchestrated all of this and about 2 years ago I was regretting the decision to come here and mad about the whole thing.  I love that God doesn't give up on us & glad we didn't give up on Catalyst.  I feel so undeserving to even be a part of it sometimes but so thankful that I am :)

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