C Group

So my C group rocks!!  They amaze me.  I love their openness and vulnerability to share deep, personal things and feel super safe doing it.  Tonight, we talked about 1. being grateful for what we have , 2, being grateful that life is not fair, grace is not fair, God is not fair, and 3 living a life of generosity.

It really challenged me.  If I'm really honest, situations put me in a funk.  I get down and I worry.  One thing I LOVE about Levi is that he is level headed.  He prays for guidance and wisdom and does what he feels like is right even if it's not the most popular or easy choice.  He is good for me in that way.  I tend to be a coward and smile and agree even if I'm not agreeing on the inside.  So, our discussion tonight at C group really helped me.  In a different way, I had a realization that we have lots of friends who are going through major life and some major spiritual stuff.  They are growing and God is real in their lives. We are seeing change and God at work....it is awesome.  My mini epiphany tonight was that in the midst of seeing God doing all this cool stuff, I'm like the Israelites who saw miracles and still questioned God's power.  I've worried today about something I can't control.  I've let my joy be stolen.  I'M DONE!! I feel like using the next phrase on lots of other people but tonight I'm using on myself-  I'm pulling up my big girl pants and trusting that God is bigger than situations.  And knowing I'll always have situations as long as I'm alive, I need to deal with it.  I do not want to be distracted from the bigger picture.  I hear people say things like, "When God's working, the devil's going to be working hard too."  I've honestly kind of hated that because I do not want to give the devil any power.  BUT, in my experience, when "situations" occur, I'm distracted.  I lose focus of the good and concentrate on how powerless I am in the situation.  I give my own power away.  I want to trust God and know that when things aren't easy and when situations happen, I trust a God who is bigger than that.  I trust a God who has proven Himself.  I trust a God who loves me and the situations of my life and I give those to Him.  So tonight, I am glad that grace isn't fair, that life isn't fair, and that God isn't fair.  I am grateful for my friends!  And I truly want to live a life of generosity of not only possessions but also of my life, even when it puts me in situations.