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Sunday, February 27, 2011

Humility vs Me

Okay so I'm just going to say it from the get go....I'm not bragging.  Yeah, keep reading;)  So today I led worship at our church. Levi & Jonathan went to a conference the beginning of this week and Jonathan had a lock in this weekend so he asked me to lead.  I'm not going to lie, I wasn't so impressed with myself the last time I led. I felt really nervous. I felt like I rushed through stuff.  Definitely didn't feel great about it.  Side note, I'm not a perfectionist in every area of my life but with my singing I am.  I don't want to mess up. I don't want to look stupid, etc etc etc.  I agreed to lead.  And then at our bi-monthly practice, I totally screwed up the keys so we couldn't really practice my songs like we should have.  I've got 2 strikes against me.  I've been reading through the Bible with my friend April and I've really been committed to do it.  I'm really trying to let the Holy Spirit speak through me and change me.  Moses comes to mind, he was imperfect but God used him.  Same with Joseph & David, God used the imperfect, the weak, the vulnerable.

Anyway, I got to church this morning and the first song we were singing is called "Freedom is Here." And for me, freedom means freedom from worry and imperfection and myself.  I really had to say that to myself.  and honestly, it felt great to just lead our people in worship without fear or worry if I was going to hit all the notes right or get all the words right or "do a good job."  I really tried to worship this morning as if it was just me in the room.  I'm thankful that God doesn't give up on me, that He still prompts my heart, that He takes my measly talent and can use that for His glory. I want that desire to stay fresh and new in me.  It was a great morning. I'm so thankful for our church and our people.  I'm not bragging on myself but more on God and the stuff He's doing in and for me and the people around me.

1 comment:

April said...

You did great, actually. I was really impressed with how self-assured and articulate you were. You were rooted to the stage and you just radiated confidence.